Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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