I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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