So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
