Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
