It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
