I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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