Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
