If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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