Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
