I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
