You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize