you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize