I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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