Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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