I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
