You smell like a Billy Joel song
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
