Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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