Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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