why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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