my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
