Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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