2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
