yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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