and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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