She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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