Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have aggressive nipples.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
