I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
