Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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