Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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