how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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