It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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