i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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