I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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