McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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