I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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