1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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