there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
