Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
