Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i came on her dog
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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