I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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