My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
