at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
