I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
