you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
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when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
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Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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