your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize