at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
