You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
