Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
