I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
