In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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