She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
In the future we'll all be gay
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
