toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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