I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
