Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize