At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
