YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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